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Shartaun03 81F
6169 posts
5/26/2015 10:30 pm

    Quoting  :

Lyn that is a very good comment. I don't have children and I don't have a sweetie in my life so cannot comment on that. I have lived a long time on my own for a very long time. Very seldom I feel alone and like you I value my aloneness. I happy for you that you found the love of your life and that it is working out well for the both of you.


hermitinthecity 70M
1691 posts
5/26/2015 10:44 pm

Everyone needs to be alone for a bit, some just need to be alone more than others.

It depends on a lot on personality I guess, circumstances, emotionally wounded etc.

Enjoying being alone goes up to a point, then lonliness can set in. It's a trade off for me. Do I want to be crowded out in my own home with someone else there? Do I like my own space? Practicing music I definitely want to be alone, I dont want to drive someone up the wall with constant repetition and mistakes until I've perfected some tune I'm learning. But in writing this I just realised that I started playing music to compensate for a lack of company.

I was lonely most of my single life even though I did many adventrous things, married at 33. I loved it when I was married, I was very happy. 11 good years, the last one fell apart, then when we split I was delighted the kids moved in with me.

When the last one left home I felt devastated, empty nest syndrome for a while but now I'm conditioned again to be alone.

In my own home I'm virtually always alone now, if a visitor does come (rarely), it's for a coffee and chat for maybe an hour and they are gone. Sometimes I wish they'd stay a bit longer, other times I cant wait till they are gone. That's just me. My youngest daughter is the opposite, she needs people around her all the time, day and night, otherwise she's bored.

Do I like being alone? Sometimes, but not all the time. Would I risk it again? Not sure...... probably not. In this day and age with the 'no blame' laws here my ex got my first house. I'm not going to risk this house I'm in now. I've been stung once. Seen it over and over again, some lady comes in, the guy has a business, they marry, even a kid or two to seal the deal, same with overseas brides. Then the bomb drops, she's got the house and some of his assets and ........ It's just happened the second time to a guy I know, he got 2 business up and running, was ripped off by both wives, first one sent him broke on his first business taking the house and some assets, after slowly recovering the second one did the same with his second business. He is injured at the moment and on work cover strugging with titanium pins in his back. As soon as he was hurt she dumped him, she got the house, his partner bought him out and now he's renting. It's all lovely when things are good, but when the chips are down the true colours come out. The law here stinks. In my opinion they should have taken everything from her and dumped her on the street for being so damn evil. He's a really nice guy.

After my own experience and seeing many others like his I think loneliness is the safer option. I detest betrayal, especially when the other is down. Unfortunately I just dont trust anymore.

Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.


bijou624

5/27/2015 12:22 am

Hi Earthy: Interesting topic. I am alone and even though I think I hate it, whenever the phone rings or I talk to someone in person I can't wait to get rid of them. Every person I come into contact with these days, women in particular, must be very lonely or just totally selfish and oblivious of other people, because they never stop talking. On and on and on they just talk and talk and I never get a word in edgewise, and after awhile I realize that if this is the way interacting with people is going to turn out every time, then I prefer being alone.