 | Blogs > neer60 > My Blog > saving the government money (a joke) |
2/14/2012 7:42 am |
I read something recently that was so absurd it had to be true. Someone convinced Congress to give them $600K+ to do a study on why primates such as baboons and chimpanzees throw their poop at other chimps (and people in the zoo I am told). Really? Over six hundred thousand dollars to learn that? So I figured I could save them a bunch of money by letting them in on a secret. Me: "Well you see senator it's like this, they're stupid, stinky creatures who have nothing else better to do. That will be $300K please." Senator: "Wow is that it? Who would have thought it? But for that kind of money I would expect a second opinion." Me: "Okay, my second opinion is, you are an idiot for wanting to know. But I'm gonna have to charge you another $100K. Me stating the obvious don't come cheap." I think with a few more of these type jobs I can reduce the deficit and retire before cold weather sets back in this fall.... |
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2/14/2012 4:58 pm |
lmaoooooo
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2/14/2012 5:44 pm |
Actually, if they were to pay you that kind of money, they'd have to borrow it from the Chinese, increasing not only the deficit but also the national debt. 
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 2/14/2012 6:17 pm |
I read some years ago that someone had received a government grant to study why children fall off of tricycles.  I threatened to apply for a grant to go to England and stay until I found out who got Shakespeare's best bed. (His will left his second best bed to his wife.)  I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
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2/14/2012 7:59 pm |
not for 200K I will throw my poop at congress Lol
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2/14/2012 8:34 pm |
Reminds me of the story of the government wanting a fence built, so they got three bids. The head of the committee looked the bids over and talked to the contractors. #1 bid was for $100,000. #2 bid was for $110,000. #3 bid was for $300,000. He asked the third contractor why such a high bid and was told "I will hire the first contractor to do the job for $100,000 and then there will be $100,000 profit for me and $100,000 for you." He got the job, and that is how our government works. Remember, only you can make the choice of how YOUR song is written, and give that song a voice.
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