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WOULD YOU TELL YOUR FRIEND? Elaine Shuel |
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Deception is dispicable. I would tell. I wouldnt be a friend if I let it go on. Nip it where you find it, they'd be hurt even more if they knew you knew and didnt tell them, could even destroy the friendship. If I was not told by someone who was close and knew I'd never trust them again as I'd view it as joining in the deception. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
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I try to live with the credo, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I would want to be told so yes, I would tell my friend. I agree Puzzles, I would have to be absolutely sure before I would tell. I agree with what you said Hermit and I feel the same.  Elaine Shuel
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I wouldn't know for sure if my friend would REALLY want to know or not. So, I would hint around it, and let him/her decide if they really wanted to know, they could find out. The kind of relationship, would also have a lot to do with how I would approach it. I have a hard time believing that in a spousal relationship, the friend being cheated on wouldn't already have a pretty good idea. Exposing it, would require that person to take action, that they may or may not really want to do, because they haven't already done so. It's a tough one, to decide, so I'd give a hint and see if they really wanted to know. In a non spousal relationship, I'd give a very strong hint. In that kind of relationship it's totally about discovery. In neither case, would I just blurt it out, and I would NEVER discuss it with my other friends. Thank you. I wonder if all spouses would know their better half is cheating though. As far as telling other friends, I agree, that you shouldn't be spreading the news around.Elaine Shuel
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I wouldn't know for sure if my friend would REALLY want to know or not. So, I would hint around it, and let him/her decide if they really wanted to know, they could find out. The kind of relationship, would also have a lot to do with how I would approach it. I have a hard time believing that in a spousal relationship, the friend being cheated on wouldn't already have a pretty good idea. Exposing it, would require that person to take action, that they may or may not really want to do, because they haven't already done so. It's a tough one, to decide, so I'd give a hint and see if they really wanted to know. In a non spousal relationship, I'd give a very strong hint. In that kind of relationship it's totally about discovery. In neither case, would I just blurt it out, and I would NEVER discuss it with my other friends To really have some kind understanding about this. One needs to have it happen to them. I have, I have had friend tell me my wife tried to sleep him...It not an easy take, of course the word tried makes it even worse.
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I wouldn't know for sure if my friend would REALLY want to know or not. So, I would hint around it, and let him/her decide if they really wanted to know, they could find out. The kind of relationship, would also have a lot to do with how I would approach it. I have a hard time believing that in a spousal relationship, the friend being cheated on wouldn't already have a pretty good idea. Exposing it, would require that person to take action, that they may or may not really want to do, because they haven't already done so. It's a tough one, to decide, so I'd give a hint and see if they really wanted to know. In a non spousal relationship, I'd give a very strong hint. In that kind of relationship it's totally about discovery. In neither case, would I just blurt it out, and I would NEVER discuss it with my other friends To really have some kind understanding about this. One needs to have it happen to them. I have, I have had friend tell me my wife tried to sleep him...It not an easy take, of course the word tried makes it even worse. Elaine Shuel
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Good for you and good for her, RosesLady. I am glad she got rid of him. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Nice to meet you, Joannita.  That was an interesting response. Thank you. I especially found the woman who didn't want to know since she's been married over 40 years, fascinating. Perhaps that is why she is still married.Elaine Shuel
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hermit hit it pretty good. the media surrounds us with this behavior at every opportunity. it is conditioning, behavior modification for countless unhealthy behaviors. what if all of civilization followed the golden rule? the only rule is the golden rule . I guess that would be paradise, or heaven, the next realm, what you believe. Elaine Shuel
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I see it as putting my friend first. If he/she gets upset with me for it, then it means our friendship wasn't very strong. Thanks for your comment, junky. Some definitely see it the same way as you do. Elaine Shuel
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I've done that before...told a friend what was going on...all gone, bye-bye...she called me every name she could think of and walked out of my life. Looking back I didn't lose anything...but I would hope that if it were me...someone would say something to me. Sorry for the delay. I didn't realize there were more responses.Elaine Shuel
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Thanks Eoins2. As per my message to phoenix, sorry for the delay. Elaine Shuel
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