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~~15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy~~
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May 26, 2012 2:04 am
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I got this in an email this morning and thought it has some food for thought about being happy. So,it was well worth the share here to all....
1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. GIVE UP ON BLAME
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. GIVE UP LABELS
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. GIVE UP THE PAST
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
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~~Advise To Children Today~~
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May 15, 2012 3:50 pm
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If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!..and True to..
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in an Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! (how many of you know the Dewey Decimal System???)
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
 And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the 1970's or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
This is from a friend, do not know who or when it was written and I did attempt to clean the language up in this. But the point was well made......
I sit in the peaceful candle light and absorb the beauty of the moment.. Simple quietness.. Not a whisper of sound.. the thoughts in my head are nil.. for that I am grateful, as I have an essence of serenity in my world ♥
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
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~~Through The Eyes of a Two Year Old~~
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Apr 30, 2012 7:43 pm
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Memaw will be coming this Tuesday!
"Watch me swim, MeMaw?"
Hold me, MeMaw
Her words are few but growing more day by day as she gets older. Her world is the Dora the Explorer purple chair, the matching purple blanket that matches her chair, wearing her big girl panties under her princess pjs, naps and ice cream. She is not happy wearing her own shoes but loves to try everyone else's shoes on. She has a passion for hats and caps to wear on her little head.
But the best thing in this world is when she cries to talk to MeMaw on the phone and hearing Sklar tell me that she loves her MeMaw!
Have not been on much these days between work and spending my days off with my daughter and Skylar.
Hugs and sunshine to all,
Aprille
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~~A Dog's Purpose~~
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Apr 27, 2012 6:55 pm
218 Views
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I am not sure who actually wrote this, but it was too good to not share!
"A Dog's Purpose" (from a 6-year-old):
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa , and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I live.
He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?''
The Six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that when they're born, so they don't have to stay as long.''
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
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~~Of Choices~~
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Apr 24, 2012 11:43 am
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1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor
Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
And had breezed through the questions until I read
The last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
Cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
The last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers,
You will meet many people. All are significant.. They
Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
Is smile and say "hello.."
I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her
Name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American
Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
Broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
Unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man
Took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
Put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
Special note was attached.
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
The other night. The rain drenched not only my
Clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God
Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
Others."
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those
Who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
Front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
Studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the
Waitress was growing impatient..
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
The table and walked away The boy finished the ice
Cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress
Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
Table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
Were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
To have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
Roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
Anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
And simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
Anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
Vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save
her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her.
This is also an oldie but goldie from the past but the thought and messages it allows is priceless.
There is nothing like a smile from a baby and the photo is of my grand daughter Skylar that just entered the terrible twos yesterday...
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
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~~The Retired Husband~~
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Apr 24, 2012 5:43 am
245 Views
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible'
theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
I found this oldie goldie in one of my computer files this morning and as old as it is, it is still very cute and worth sharing a smile to all here on this cold Florida morning. I do not know the author of this but they are one funny person!
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
PS the photo is myself with Sophia, a wolf hybred that was going to be put down at the shelter because of her size. She is just a love bug and at 145 lbs, thinks she is a lap dog!
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~~Camping Tips~~
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Apr 16, 2012 6:27 pm
292 Views
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We camp out as much as possible.
Aw, to be one with nature with a battery powered steak knife.
Over the years, I have learn......
If a small child comes up to you and tells you that a BIG lizard is in the tent, get a base ball bat to check it out. Being in Fla, it could and probably is a gator in the tent.
When using a public campground, Placing the bagpipes in clear view on your picnic table will keep the camp sites on either side vacant.
Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking over an open fire.
When smoking fish, never inhale.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well but the cheese sticks between your toes.
While the Swiss Army knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Army Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning....remove it from navel before applying the match.
You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
Happy Camping to all
Hugs and sunshine, Aprille
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~~Them Were The Days, My Friend~~
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Apr 8, 2012 5:37 pm
353 Views
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Remember a Friday night date when you could fill up your car, have a burger and a movie for two for less than $20?
A good friend of mine came in to work this morning and told me that her son asked for $100 to take a little girl out next Friday night!
Gas here is at $4.08 a gallon, a burger for two at MacDonald's is around $12 (unless you go with the dollar menu) and a seat at the movie is $18.....
And I wondered why I do not see very many teenagers down here dating!!!!
Happy Easter to all
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~~Too Much Time To Pass Without Her Love~~
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Apr 5, 2012 4:10 pm
269 Views
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When my mother passed away in January 3th, 2010....life changed for me all together. The pain of lossing a parent is a turning point in many people's lives.
In March of that year, had to clean her house out and once that was done, I found myself with any direction in the world to head out to. No job, no home and nothing more than a little dog to worry about.
Something in my heart whispered, "go back home to Florida" and I returned to find out why I needed to return home to Florida.
At first, thought that it was for my granddaughters that my ex husband was raising. The oldest is 21 now and has been a pill popper since the age of 16. The child is just living on spare time for she has refused help from every one of us to the point that I finally had her committed last year. The youngest is 16, doing ok, graduation from high school and what many consider a nerd....college bound and has a brain.
But they were not the reason for returning....
Last week on face book, got a message from a name that I did not know asking me questions about my family. It was my daughter that I have not spoken to in over 17 years.
We have spend the last week emailing back and forth and finally today.....I drove over to see her.
She is Stevie now, not Stefanie and in December this year will turn 40 years old. I could hardly stop crying the whole visit. Back in 2004, she had been in an accident and had a stroke. The side of her once beautiful face was frozen and drawl but her eyes were the same as always.
The biggest surprise was I am the proud grandmother to her soon to be 2 year old daughter, Skylar. Grandmother was a new word for her and she watched me closely. She would smile at me and once or twice offer me her toy but she kept some space between us. We have time and in time, that space now will disappear.
Was this the reason? I do not question things too much this early but today changed my life.
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
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~~What's Happening~~
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Mar 28, 2012 3:49 am
296 Views
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Sorry but for the last month have not really been blogging here but leaving some humor to allow all that I am still very much alive.
I wish to thank each and every one of you that left comments about how to handle traveling with an e-ticket. Things went very well but I found out that do not travel coming back with bottles of garlic. I was yanked out of the line at the airport and made to empty my suit case because of them. Had a friend that knows my love for cooking with garlic give me a gift of 4 bottles to bring home with me. Great stuff but what a hassle getting them home!
Returned back to work and they were actually happy to see me. The second shift that I have worked on forever is now the first shift as a trainer. Just a title and no extra money on the pay check. It took some time to adjust not going to bed at 2 am, to getting up and out of here at 5:30 am. Get off at 2 pm, which is just wonderful with this new time change for it allows me to be more social with my neighbors, go for evening walks on the beach and to sit down now to eat my dinner at night. I love it!
Cookie has not been doing well the last week. He experienced a seizures and has been confused since. He turned 15 last valentine's day. We have a long history together and these days, I pick him up and just hug him more often.
Rickie the bird has finally decided that this is his home and boy, does he have the run of it! If you are eating, he demands a bite. If you are laying on the sofa napping, he has to come up and cuddle with you. I did not know of this new cuddling thing and almost rolled over him in my sleep the other day. His screaming woke me very quickly.
Striker is doing well. He stays on the computer most of the day when I am gone to work, chatting with friends or playing pogo. When I come in from work, we talk a bit and have dinner then he goes to his room to watch some tv for the rest of the evening.
Have worked the last two weeks on my days off breaking down a place stone parking pad and turning it into a side walk in the garden area. Told my neighbor that I borrowed the wheel barrel from yesterday as I returned it, "if I come to you with a look in my eyes and ask for something like a wheel barrel, please just say NO to me."
Sun is about to come up and have to get my bike out to go down to the beach for some sunrise photos.
Hugs and sunshine to all, Aprille
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To link to this blog (WickedFemale) use [blog WickedFemale] in your messages.
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