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HAPPINESS
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Feb 11, 2012 6:27 pm
75
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~ Constant happiness can accomplish much. As the sun melts the ice, a smile causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate...
~ Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother...
~ Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.
And if you can't fight and you can't flee, flow...
~ Forget the times of your distress, but never forget what they thought you...
~ Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful...
~ Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully...
~ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer...
~ Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get...
~ Every once in a while, take the scenic route...
~ If you choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor...
~ The secret to happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles...
~ Those who can't laugh at themselves, leave the job to others...
~ Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind...
~ If you continue to live in the past, your life is history...
~ Don't curse the darkness - light a candle...
~ Always live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter will always bring you out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough...
~ The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, not on our circumstances...
If you believe that I put these thoughts together, allow me, kindly, to correct that. I just read them and CP'd them because I believe these are all worth sharing with all of us on SFF and elsewhere.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL.
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17
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WISDOM OF A MIL
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Feb 11, 2012 6:01 am
54
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One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.
The reason women over 50 don't have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.
It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
What happens if you confuse your Valium with your birth control pills?
You have 12 kids, but you don't really care.
Skinny people bug me. They say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother's maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes.
Why is it harder to lose weight as you get older? Because by that time your body and your fat have become really good friends.
My mind doesn't wander, it leaves completely.
What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? I shrinks two sizes.
It's nice to live in a small town, because if you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
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6
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TWO SQUIRRELS AND THE CITY HUNTER
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Feb 9, 2012 1:10 am
101
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The city fellow asked his friend the country boy to take him deer hunting, as he had never been hunting before. The country boy agreed to this, as long as the city fellow did EXACTLY what he was told to do.
The two men got their gear together and went into the woods. The country boy told the city fellow to sit down on a log that lay beside a deer trail, and that if he stayed quiet and waited, the deer would come right by him on the way to the creek, and he would be able to get a good shot. The country boy said that he was going to go on down the trail about a mile to another good spot, and he would be back to meet the city fellow later.
But a few hours later, the country boy heard all kinds of yelling and screaming as the city fellow came running down the trail!! "Well what's wrong with you?", he asked the city fellow. "Why didn't you stay where I told you to?"
The city fellow, still very excited, replied, "Well, when the bobcat came over and sharpened his claws on the log, I didn't move. When the bear came and sat on the other end of the log, I didn't move. But when the two squirrels came up, climbed into my lap and then one said to the other, 'Shall we take them with us or eat them here', well I just couldn't stand it any more!"
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12
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LIGHT A CANDLE
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Feb 7, 2012 4:03 pm
135
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Sharing with all of you, My Friends, my read of last night.
Light a Candle with Intention -
Lighting a candle for a particular purpose or intention is practiced worldwide from people of all walks of life. Lighting a candle symbolizes bringing light to our wishes or desires. A candle can be lit as a prayer for peace or a request for healing.
People of various faiths, especially Christians, believe that lighting a candle symbolizes the light of Christ. Dr. Usui, the founder of Reiki, was said to have walked through the streets of Tokyo with a lighted lantern in the daylight as a beacon for attracting Reiki students. We light candles on top of our birthday cakes in celebration of each cherished year of our lives.
Lighted candles are reflections of our emotional self and help to illuminate our hearts when we feel burdened. You are invited to reflect on whatever is resonating within you at this the moment and light a candle below. Choose from four candles: affirmation candle, prayer candle, blessing candle, and gratitude candle.
Affirmation
Before you light an affirmation candle sit in silence for a moment. Release any thoughts of negativity from your mind. Allow only positive thoughts to live there. Close your eyes and see the world filled with only happiness and prosperity. Silently make a heartfelt affirmation statement. Open your eyes. Light the candle.
Prayer Request
You may light a prayer candle for yourself, another person, or for a situation. Bow your head in quiet solitude. Direct your prayer to God, Allah, the angels, the universe, your higher self, or to whatever source from where you draw your spiritual strength from. Say a prayer in silence. It helps to repeat this statement before you light the candle: "I ask for this to serve the highest good of all concerned." Release your need to have your prayer answered in a particular way, allowing spirit to find the best light path. Light the candle.
Offer Blessing
We want to help others but do not always know the best way to act. Offering a blessing is a way to enlighten the situation and help you find the right answer. The answer may be that there is nothing for you to do. Some of the toughest life lessons are to learned through our own experience without intervention of others. By offering a blessing you are acknowledging your desire to help. Recognize that that there are blessings in everything, even those most difficult life challenges. Offer your blessing and release it to the universe. Light the candle.
Give Gratitude
Are you able to recognize the good things about your life? When life circumstances are causing you pain or anguish it can be trying to look for that silver lining in the rain cloud. But, it is there. Rejoice in the smallest gestures that bring a smile. It may be a flower blooming at your feet, the sound of a child's laughter, or a lovely card sent to your from a kind friend. Take a moment and quiet your troubled thoughts and change focus to a small goodness. Be grateful. Light the candle.
LET US ALL LIGHT A CANDLE TO MAKE OUR WORLD A PLACE OF HAPPINESS, FILLED WITH LOVE, GOOD HEALTH AND LAUGHTER FOR ALL BEINGS.
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19
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PEOPLE
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Feb 2, 2012 11:53 pm
161
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Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing
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14
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PRIESTS IN HAWAII
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Feb 2, 2012 12:56 am
175
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Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a REAL vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they headed for the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on their beach chairs, enjoying a drink when all of a sudden this "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help staring.
As she passed by she smiled and said, "Good Morning, Father, Good Morning, Father" nodding and addressing each of them individually.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
The next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. This time they were so loud, you could hear them coming before you could see them. Again, they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a while, the same gorgeous blond came strolling by. This time her bikini was even more daring. They were really glad that they were wearing sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.
As she approached, she again nodded and said, "Good morning, Father, Good morning, Father," and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it. "Wait, please young lady. Yes, we are priests and proud of it, but I have to know - how in the world could you tell that we are both priests?"
"Father, it's me, Sister Angela."
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18
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ATTIUDE AND WAY
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Jan 30, 2012 6:28 pm
155
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Last of the human freedom is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances --
to choose one's own way.
-- Victor E Frankl
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6
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LAWYERS, LAWYERS, LAWYERS
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Jan 29, 2012 4:14 pm
178
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"
With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
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DIRTY JOKES
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Jan 26, 2012 4:31 pm
204
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FOUND A DEAD CAT
A Junior School pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.
“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.
“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.
“You did WHAT?! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”
CAMPING
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
"What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
MEMORY LESSONS
It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering
things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is
wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends,
and neighbours about it. Some months later, a neighbour approaches
the man as he tends the garden.
Neighbour asks, "Say, Ed, what was the name of the
instructor of that memory course you liked so much?"
Ed replies, "Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute...
What's the name of that flower, you know,
the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems...?
Neighbour says, "You mean a rose?"
Ed replies, "Yeah, that's it!...(shouting toward house)
Hey,Rose, what was that memory course instructor's name?
INSURANCE POLICY
Vandals had set fire to a farmers haystack which then spread to his barn.
While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance company
and asked them to send a check for £30,000 the amount of insurance on the barn.
“We don’t give you the money,” a company official explained.
“We replace the barn and all the equipment in it.”
“In that case,” replied the wife, “cancel the policy I have on my husband.”
REDNECK TRUCKERS
Two Country truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to a low bridge.
A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'." So they get out, measure their truck, and realize that it's 11"6'.
So the first GUY looks at the second GUY and says, "I don't see any cops around....let's go for it!"
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10
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LOVE CREATES AN 'US' WITHOUT DESTROYING 'ME'
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Jan 23, 2012 3:56 pm
249
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Sharing a story that I read.
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.
It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger.
But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face.
Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me."
Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened.
For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase.
Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend.
Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself!
On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
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