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HAPPINESS HAS TO BE ALLOWED
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May 6, 2012 6:56 pm
270 Views
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C/P OF SOMETHING VERY NICE I READ LAST NIGHT that I share with all my SFF friends :
What is the difference between happy people and unhappy people? Of course, it may be very obvious, happy people are happy while unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct, but we want to know what are the things that these people do differently and that is why, I have put together a list of things that HAPPY people do differently than UNHAPPY people…
1. LOVE vs. FEAR. Well, I can tell you for sure that those people who are really happy, FEAR less and LOVE a lot more. They see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE. Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it, knowing that this will make the situation even worse, but rather, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? and they go from there, focusing on the positive rather than on the negative. They always seem to see the glass half full no matter what happens to them.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS. Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to FORGIVE and FORGET, understanding that FORGIVENESS is a gift they give to themselves first and foremost.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”Buddha
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT. They trust themselves and they trust the people around them. No matter if they talk to the cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of a multi billion company, somehow they always seem make the person they are interacting with feel like there is something unique and special about them.
They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love, dignity and respect, making no distinctions between age, sex, social status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION. They do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because they get a sense of purpose by doing so. They understand that “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” like Wayne Dyer puts it, and they care more about living a life full of meaning rather than, what in our modern society we would call, living a successful life.
The irony here is that most of the time they get both, success and meaning, just because they choose to focus on doing the things they love the most and they always pursue their heart desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size”. They don’t criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, but rather, every time the behavior is present, even if it’s not that often, they know that by praising the person and the behavior, they will actually reinforce the positive behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure that his 7 years old boy will learn to always put the toys back in the box after he’s done playing with them, he will make sure not to focus on the many times the child won’t do it, criticizing him and his behavior, but rather, every time the little boy does put the toys back, the parent will praise him and his behavior and that is exactly how he will reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end geting the wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people will see PROBLEMS as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that underneath them all lies many opportunities that will allow them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. They do what they do not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring meaning, empowerment and happiness in the lives of many. They look for ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and to make other people happy.
”Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted.”Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. They have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. These people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of us.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” Goethe
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. They are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self love, self forgiveness and self acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No no matter where they look, no matter where they are or with who, they have this capacity of seeing beauty where most of us would only see ugliness, opportunities, where most of us would only see struggles, abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude for them all.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still having big dreams about the future.
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are.” Eckhart Tolle
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to keep a positive perspective on everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING. They take full ownership over their lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy people understand that the moment you choose to blame some outside forces for whatever it is that happens to you, you are in fact giving all your power away, and they choose to keep the power for themselves and taking responsibility for everything that happens to them.
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16
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FOR ALL OF US
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Apr 7, 2012 5:34 pm
370 Views
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"We never know how high we are, till we are asked (or choose to) to rise
And then if we are true to plan our statures touch the skies."
The Heroism we recite would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the cubits warp for fear to be a King.
-Emily Dickinson
You cannot choose your battlefield, God does that for you
But you can plant a standard where a standard never flew.
-Nathaniel Crane-'The Colors'.
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3
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GIVING ONE'S SELF AND A CAUSE
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Apr 6, 2012 4:59 pm
345 Views
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He who can't make a sacrifice will never live ; who never dares to part with his self must not expect to receive anything furthering his life from outside.
- Heuschele
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2
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AN INFORMATIONAL COPY/PASTE ON OVARIAN CANCER
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Apr 5, 2012 6:40 pm
356 Views
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The latest research, published in the journal PLoS Medicine, analysed all worldwide data on the topic.
It looked at 47 epidemiological studies in 14 countries, including about 25,000 women with ovarian cancer and more than 80,000 women without ovarian cancer.
Lead researcher Prof Valerie Beral of the Oxford University Epidemiology Unit told the BBC: "By bringing together the worldwide evidence, it became clear that height is a risk factor."
Continue reading the main story
The findings
A slight increase in the risk of developing ovarian cancer for every 5cm increase in height (taking into account other factors such as age, smoking, and alcohol consumption)
A slight increase in the risk of ovarian cancer with higher BMI, in women who have never taken hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
She said there was also a clear relationship between obesity and ovarian cancer in women who had never taken HRT.
"Ovarian cancer can clearly be added to the list [of cancers linked to obesity]," she added.
Sarah Williams, health information officer at Cancer Research UK, said the study produced a clearer picture of the factors that could affect a woman's risk of developing ovarian cancer, and found that body size was important.
"Women can reduce their risk of this and many other diseases by keeping to a healthy weight," she said.
"For women trying to lose weight, the best method is to eat healthily, eat smaller amounts and be more physically active."
Commenting on the study, Dr Paul Pharoah, reader in cancer epidemiology at the University of Cambridge, said the increase in risk was small.
"If we compare a woman who is 5ft tall with a woman who is 5ft 6in tall, there is a relative difference in ovarian cancer risk of 23%.
"But the absolute risk difference is small. The shorter woman will have a lifetime risk of about 16-in-a-1000 which increases to 20-in-a-1000 for the taller woman.
"A similar difference in absolute risk would be seen when comparing a slim woman with a body mass index of 20 to a slightly overweight woman with a body mass index of 30."
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4
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LITTLE ZONGMIT AND HER PRAYER
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Apr 3, 2012 4:51 pm
385 Views
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Zongmit, all of seven years old, comes from a little hamlet in Dzongu, a remote area in North (Western) Sikkim.
A family friend asked S in March 2009 if she would want resident help in the house. On S's answer in the affirmative, a month later, this friend returned with a shy little girl which I frankly thought was her daughter or her niece who was rather shy and reticent, uncommunicative because of shyness in front of strangers that we then were and she appeared a little unkempt.
To my utter horror, I found that Zongmit was to be the promised help.
I was shocked - I know of and have worked in my own little way against child labour but this was perhaps the greatest jolt that was to turn the Friend and the accompanying child out of our house.
Four days down the line, S's friend called me and not S. She told me she wanted to talk to me. I was told that Zongmit's parents had four children, had no land of their own and were not quite in a position to feed another mouth; therefore, Zongmit, the third of their children was sought to be employed to fend for herself while the elder two were helping the parents in the village. I talked to S; we agreed to take her in.
Z was enrolled in a school and has been with us - she has smartened up; her school grades are As generally with an occasional B.
The story, however, is not so much about what she comes from but is about what she is.
Quite often, Poet_dancer and I talk on Skype. Little Zongmit likes to come and sit on my lap or stand next to my perch when I am on the computer. She has even talked to Poet_dancer without understanding what was said except the 'good evening' and my interpretation.
Poet_dancer was indisposed a few days ago and could not come on the computer. I was talking to her the phone when Z walked in to call me down for dinner. She asked me who I was talking to and I told her that my friend was unwell. She promptly ran away to return ten minutes later and reminded me about the dinner. I asked her where she had run off to.
The answer, "Your friend will be fine because I went to the altar and prayed for her speedy recovery."
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8
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FRIENDSHIP - TO ALL MY FRIENDS
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Mar 29, 2012 2:43 am
396 Views
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you are all such beautiful people
Friendship never takes to criticism in the hour of grief ; never says merely reasonable if you had acted like this or that, but simply opens its arms and speaks ; I don't ask, I don't judge, here is a heart where you can repose.
If one could always know in advance, how to act, then there would be no space for errors.
Friendship advises and warns before, afterwards it loves : this only is the real one, the false one takes the opposite part.
- Mesenburg
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8
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RAINING CHILDREN
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Mar 24, 2012 5:48 pm
440 Views
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There was a pastor whose wife was expecting a baby.
The pastor went to the congregation and asked for a raise
There was a discussion, a debate, heated arguments for and against but, in the end, a resolution was passed that whenever the pastor's family expanded, he would get a raise.
The pastor had always been an industrious pious man of God. The hard work saw an addition of eight in all to his family when it was felt that the expense was getting the better of common sense.
Another meeting was convened.
The pastor rose and spoke, "Children are the gift of God."
The congregation was silent - that is when a wise old lady at the back of the crowd rose and spoke in a verrrrry firm voice.
"Rain is a gift of the God but when it rains, we always wear a rain coat."
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AN APOLOGY
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Mar 24, 2012 6:38 am
520 Views
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This is a note of apology to all my friends, all of them very special, who visited my blog(s). I am sure in our other lives too, there will be togetherness with you.
Please do pardon me - the reasons are twofold - one a small talk tour and the, second, an accident at the hands of the powers that be; I was unable to access SFF for reasons well beyond my control.
Thanks you, thank you, love you all ----
AneMac - a typical example of beautiful is that beautiful does  -  s & KsOCs
Embraceableone - a heart of gold, BrotherDan - a bear hug and lets have a beer 
ET - strength of logic and 'do gooding' are on your side - hugs & KsOCs
Jano - you are really a sweetheart - ow is Aaron ? May God gift him the miracle that he deserves !!
Poet_dancer - you are kind, so special, so kind hearted and considerate, so sharp, so talented, so loveable and so sweet &  KsOCs - we shall connect in all journeys of the soul as Buddha says
QuirkyLady - a true and generous friend & KsOCs
Robyn - kind hearted, considerate and ever so generous
Ray - an ever so generous gentleman - I can bet you will never have a bad word for anyone - a bear hug and lets have a beer - cheers
Spiritwoman45 - Many thanks for your friendship and you being the YOU & a KOC - in another life we shall still connect
Txlittleone - smile and dazzle the world
The names above give me cause for an apology to many others who I may have omitted.
YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL
Have a lovely day, time of the day and all your years ahead - as we say in Hinduism, "May bad luck chase you but never overtake you."
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20
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STRANGE ARE THE WAYS
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Mar 22, 2012 4:58 pm
396 Views
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One fine morning, I logged in into SFF and failed and failed.
I felt I had dementia.
I recalled the story of King Bruce and the Spider. Try, try again .............. and again ........ and yet again.
After about 10 unsuccessful attempts, I tried forgot the password link only to discover that the message sent to my e-mail was not just getting into the inbox or anywhere near it.
I wrote to help - they responded promptly to tell me that I had been blocked because my inbox was not accepting messages from SFF (and associates).
I was told to contact them by phone which I did.
There appeared to be a very kind lady who verified that I was me using all possible means of on line identifcation - e-mail address, year of initial registration, who my friends were, my credit card details (I had purchased some points there at one time).
I had passed the scrutiny; I am relieved that I am back amongst all my friends here.
I am relieved that I do not have dementia.
I am happy that I can read all the nice blogs.
I am very happy that I can write comments/observations on all the blogs.
Hi Friends !!!
PS : A confession - I had sneaked in with another id - friendly1333 - it is still active but will be rarely used. 
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5
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A REITERATION
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Mar 12, 2012 6:31 pm
434 Views
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There is nothing Good or Bad,
it is all about Choices ........
So choose wisely.
Don't believe all that you hear and don't say all that you think.
Being Happy is not a matter of destiny.
It is a matter of options.
Integrity begins with a person being willing to be honest with himself.
Do not let the noise of Other's opinion drown out your inner voice.
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8
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