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TWO BLONDES AND THE GREAT KIDNAP
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Aug 28, 2009 6:03 pm
707 Views
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A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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MEN & WOMEN
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Aug 25, 2009 11:18 pm
550 Views
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BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A WOMAN.
AFTER EVERY GREAT MAN, THERE ARE MANY.
Gentlemen, please stop reading this further  .
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But ........
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AFTER EVERY (GREAT)WOMAN -
THERE IS A WHOLE DAMN QUEUE OF MEN.
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OUR HEALTH ‒ MAN VS WOMAN
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Aug 25, 2009 5:48 pm
592 Views
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These are excerpts from an article by Sharon Collins, Health Correspondent of Sunday Mirror published in Jan, 2001. Ladies are already known to live longer than men and have stronger hearts and immune systems. Perhaps we did not know they also have better memories and shed a different type of tears ? (Not crocodile tears - do pardon me when my non-sense gets the better of my senses - lol at myself).
New research has revealed there are hundreds of differences between the sexes - in virtually every part of the body.
And it reveals that women are the superior sex in many ways (Vive la diffrence  )
A woman's blood, for example, is warmer than a man's, and her hearing is much more sensitive.
Women's skin is thinner and their noses more sensitive to smell. The chemical make-up of a woman's saliva is different to that of a man's ...and foods may taste sweeter or spicier to her.
Scientists studying these differences believe they could be the key to a better understanding of serious diseases - and better health care for women and men. Dianne Hales, author of the book 'Just Like A Woman', says: "Assumptions that men and women are biologically interchangeable reflect a blind spot in medical science - but it is significant that women's hearts beat faster and that their core body temperature is higher. It is only by learning how the bodies of women as well as men function that medicine can fully expand its understanding of all human beings."
Research, called gender science, shows a woman even breathes differently to a man. She takes an average of only nine breaths a minute - while a man takes 12.
American psychologist Thomas Crook has tested the memories of over 50,000 women and men - and claims that even though both genders suffer age- associated memory loss, women's memories outperform men at every age.
But it's not all good news. Food travels more slowly through a woman's digestive tract than a man's - so her chances of being constipated are three times greater . A woman's liver breaks down alcohol more slowly than a man's - which is why if a woman the same size as a man drinks the same amount of alcohol, she is more likely to get tipsy than him.
And although they are less prone to fatal diseases - such as lung, bladder and stomach cancer - women are more likely to suffer chronic, but non-life threatening, illnesses such as arthritis and osteoporosis. And they are two to three times more likely than men to develop multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, migraine and depression.
But because their immune system is more active and responds more vigorously to infection, they tend to live an average of five years longer than men.
According to Marianne Legato of America's Columbia University, the biological differences are not signs of superiority or inferiority. She says: "Nature created two sexes as a grand experiment. Medical science has just begun to take advantage of this phenomenon by comparing and contrasting the ways in which female and male bodies work."
Differences are listed below :
Some parts of women's brains have more nerve cells than men's. The particular layers are linked to language - which may give women an advantage in learning to read.
Women hear a much broader range of sounds, use both ears more equally when listening to words - and are better at detecting tones of a single frequency. A woman's hearing also deteriorates less rapidly than a man's, at an average age of 38 compared to 32 in men.
Women are more likely to be right-handed.
Tthe female liver breaks down drugs and medicines differently, enhancing the effect of some and blunting the effect of others. The female liver also breaks down alcohol more slowly, which is why women are more likely to get tipsy.
Women average only nine breaths per minute compared to 12 per minute for a man. Women are less prone to hiccups than men.
Women's hearts beat faster than men's, an average of 90 beats per minute compared to 80. Even during sleep, this 10 beat gap is evident. At night a woman's beat rate drops to only 66 - but a man's goes down to 56. [My heart beats faster when I am asleep, the reason usually sleeps next to me.  - again lol @ myself].
Women have on average 10-15lb more fat than men. This means women who run 30 miles or more have greater resistance to fatigue than men. By burning fat first, they put off the depletion of their carbohydrate stores - which can cause muscle fatigue.
Their blood temperature is higher than a man's and they have fewer red blood cells which explains lower haemoglobin for women.
Ladies' are less likely to be colour blind than men because the most common form of the disease is a hereditary condition only carried in males. Women's tears contain a higher level of the hormone prolactin which fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle.
Ladies noses are smaller and flatter and can detect more subtle smells [including those of a hubby going astray ].
The chemical make-up of a woman's saliva is different and foods may taste sweeter or spicier to her. This change in taste buds varies with the monthly rise and fall of female hormones.
Women have fewer sweat glands.
Food travels more slowly through a woman's digestive tract so her chances of being constipated are three times greater than a man's.
Female immune system responds more vigorously to common infections offering extra protection against viruses, bacteria and parasites.
Female hormone oestrogen may contribute to rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, asthma, migraine, headaches, fibroid tumours, breast and ovarian cancer while it also protects women's bones, hearts, brain and blood vessels. It prevents the build-up of fatty deposits in arteries and boosts a beneficial form of cholesterol while lowering the bad type.
Ladies' joints and tissues are more elastic than men's due to the effect of the female hormone oestrogen.
This was reproduced to tell some of my gentlemen friends that we have frailties that we hate to admit and appeal to the ladies not to believe all the trash that we tend to feed them regarding male superiority. Have a beautiful day .
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BEAUTITUDES OF A MARRIAGE
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Aug 22, 2009 11:27 pm
562 Views
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Blessed are the husband and wife
who continue to be affectionate,
considerate, and loving
after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.
Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite
and courteous to one
another as they are to their friends.
Blessed are they who love their mates
more than any other person in the world,
and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vow
of a lifetime of fidelity
and mutual helpfulness to one another.
Blessed are they who attain parenthood,
for children are a heritage of the God.
Blessed are they who remember to thank God
for their food before they eat it,
and who set apart some time each day
for prayer.
Blessed are those mates
who never speak loudly to one another,
and who make their home a place
"where seldom is heard a discouraging word."
Blessed are the husband and wife
who faithfully attend the worship service of the church,
and who work together in the church
for the advancement of Christ's kingdom.
Blessed are the husband and wife
who can work out the problems of adjustment
without interference from relatives.
Blessed is the couple which has complete understanding
about financial matters, and have worked out a perfect partnership,
with all money under the control of both.
Blessed are the husband and wife
who humbly dedicate their lives
and their homes to Christ,
and who practice the teachings of Christ in the home
by being unselfish, loyal and loving.
~Author Unknown~
These apply equally to friends bound for a lifetime irrespective of colour, creed or gender.
May wisdom always win while insanities visit us but only temporarily.
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WHAT MEN EXPECT FROM WOMEN
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Aug 17, 2009 9:44 am
1181 Views
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Here is an interview by Jim Burns with Shaunti Feldhahn, a known syndicated newspaper columnist, author and speaker who recently wrote a book, 'For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men.' Excerpts of the interview are as follows with some observations also given :
Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. Husbands need to know that their wives respect them both privately and publicly. Men thrive when they know that their wives trust them, admire them and believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn’s research indicated that men would rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be disrespected by them.
A man’s anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife. When a husband becomes angry with his wife, he may not come out and say, “You’re disrespecting me!” But, there is a good likelihood that he is feeling stung by something his wife has done which he considers disrespectful and humiliating.
Men are insecure. Men are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life -- not just at work, but at home, in their role as a husband. They may never vocalize this, but inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation. To men, affirmation from their wives is everything! If they don’t receive this affirmation from their wives, they’ll seek it elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.
Men feel the burden of being the provider for their family. Intellectually, it doesn’t matter how much or little a man makes, or whether or not his wife makes more or less money in her career. Men simply bear the emotional burden of providing for their family. It’s not a burden they’ve chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with this burden. As such, it is never far from their minds and can result in the feeling of being trapped. While wives cannot release their husbands from this burden, they can relieve it through a healthy dose of appreciation, encouragement and support.
Men want more sex. Everyone’s natural response to this is probably, “Duh!” But, that response is probably for the wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want more sex with their wives due to their physical wiring (their “needs”. But, surprisingly, Shaunti Feldhahn’s research showed that the reason men want more sex is because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. Men simply need to be wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired.
Sex means more than sex. When men feel their wives desire them sexually, it has a profound effect on the rest of their lives. It gives them an increasing sense of confidence and well-being that carries over into every other area of his life. The flipside of this coin also carries a profoundly negative affect. When a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting his life as a husband, provider and man. This is why making sex a priority in marriage is so incredibly important!
Men struggle with visual temptation. This means the vast majority of men respond to visual images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even the most godly husband cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual rolodex” that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t control when these images appear.
Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills to be romantic. True, many men appear to be unromantic clods, but it doesn’t mean that they want to be that way! Men want to be romantic, but they just doubt their ability to pull it off. They are plagued by internal hesitations, perceiving the risk of humiliation and failure as too high. Wives can do a great deal to increase their husbands’ confidence in their romantic skills through encouragement and redefining what romance looks like. For example, a wife may balk when her husband asks her to go along to the hardware store, but it’s likely that he’s asking because he sees it as a time they can get away as a couple and hang out together. What’s not romantic about that?
Men care about their wife’s appearance. This isn’t saying that all men want their wives to look like the latest supermodel. What men really want is to know that their wives are making an effort to take care of themselves (and not letting themselves go) because it matters to them (the husbands!). Husbands appreciate the efforts their wives make to maintain their attractiveness.
Men want their wives to know how much they love them. This was the number one response of men. Men aren’t confident in their ability to express this, but they love their wives dearly. Men want to show how much they love their wives and long for them to understand this fact. I believe most of the above are true in a generalised sort of way. .
I believe communicaton remains the key and it must remain mutual rather than one sided for near perfect harmony.
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POWER OF SILENCE - MUSINGS
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Aug 17, 2009 9:16 am
562 Views
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This is about silence as a means of communication and how effective it is... sometimes much more than words, and also its importance in relationships. Silence referred to here, is not just absence of sound, but a state within you where you are at peace with yourself - the stillness of mind. It is something that gives you that inner power, removes tensions and helps you cope better with relationships on all levels....
"From silence, our true powers emerge - the powers to withdraw, to accommodate, to face the truth, to discriminate right from wrong, to tolerate and to co-operate..."
"Silence is our connection to our soul. This is where true power resides. We begin to see life with clarity."
All these are for sure inspiring and thought provoking and am sure pretty effective if put in practise... but we all know, it is easier said than done...you can just keep at it, and keep trying hoping u can be there someday!
THEN, DO WE KNOW ?? 
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SO TRUE SO OFTEN
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Aug 16, 2009 9:31 am
571 Views
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Too often we don't realize
What we have until it is gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we let
Unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind.
So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.
Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
in life that mean a lot.
- Author ??
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HONEYMOON COUPLE ON A SNAKE FARM
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Aug 11, 2009 9:50 am
548 Views
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Even if you have heard or read this earlier, please laugh (your laughter is not only good for you but also for me) :
A young couple was touring on their honeymoon and stopped at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.
After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
"Wow!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Do you ever get bitten?"
"Yes, upon rare occasions," answered the handler.
"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?"
"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound."
"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman.
"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."
Have a nice day .
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LEARN CHINESE IN 1 MINUTE
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Aug 11, 2009 9:44 am
600 Views
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With due respect to my Chinese friends, let me share this with everyone :
Please read the English meaning and then "OUT LOUD" say the Chinese words...
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesn't make as much sense)...
1) That's not right.................................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.......................................... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man............................................. Dum Fuk
5) Small horse........................................ Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?....................... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table........... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
 I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here.............................. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone....................... No Pah King
12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great.................................................. Fa Kin Su Pah
One again, no offence meant to all my Chinese friends and all their countrymen and women.
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THE RIMPOCHE
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Aug 8, 2009 12:12 am
449 Views
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Let me share a great contrast with you all - these are Rimpoche's (an incarnate high lama) words - some of you may have come across them earlier :
Anger seeks revenge
Love seeks healing
Anger spouts lies
Love speaks truth
Anger shouts loud
Love whisper softly
Anger rips at the soul
Love saves the soul
Anger causes others pain
Love causes others joy
Anger stoops low to solve the problems
Love looks foe a higher ground
Anger lays down the law
Love breaks down the strongholds
Anger is senseless in its methods
Love strives to make sense of a senseless word
Anger echoes senselessness
Love reflects from a caring heart
Anger solves problems only in the mind
Love works wonders in heart, body, and soul
Anger ruins the world
Love saves the day
Anger darkens the spirit
Love brightens the world
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